The Random Dose of FUNNY Thread

I discovered some rare, old footage of @Haggis when he had a Jeep and a pet bear on his way to work at the family saw mill. Interesting note about the bear... it was a cub he raised from early on that could always be found at his side, just like a dog.

As the bear got to adult age he shot him, butchered it, and ate it over the course of the winter. Too old and they get fatty and tough is the reason I was told. But he loved that bear... roasted, fricasseed, broiled, ground into patties or Michelle's famous "meata-ballzas."

 
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TangoBlue said:
I discovered some rare, old footage of @Haggis when he had a Jeep and a pet bear on his way to work at the family saw mill. Interesting note about the bear... it was a cub he raised from early on that could always be found at his side, just like a dog.

As the bear got to adult age he shot him, butchered it, and ate it over the course of the winter. Too old and they get fatty and tough is the reason I was told. But he loved that bear... roasted, fricasseed, broiled, ground into patties or Michelle's famous "meata-ballzas."

Click to expand...
Reminded me of this story...

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.
Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vise versa.
These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter') learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men evolved into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists, and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just piss off more liberals.
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and BBQ some steaks!

Happy New Year!


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TangoBlue said:
I discovered some rare, old footage of @Haggis when he had a Jeep and a pet bear on his way to work at the family saw mill. Interesting note about the bear... it was a cub he raised from early on that could always be found at his side, just like a dog.

As the bear got to adult age he shot him, butchered it, and ate it over the course of the winter. Too old and they get fatty and tough is the reason I was told. But he loved that bear... roasted, fricasseed, broiled, ground into patties or Michelle's famous "meata-ballzas."

Click to expand...

That's exactly how it happened...excepted for the beer and the beard. Somebody must of CGed those into that archival footage because I have never partaked in either of those hipster indulgences. Damn, Tenderlion was a good friend and one tasty bear.
 
woodienut said:
Reminded me of this story...

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.
Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vise versa.
These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter') learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men evolved into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists, and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just piss off more liberals.
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and BBQ some steaks!

Happy New Year!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

One of the best reads I've had in quite some time..... me likey...
 
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Damn it @TangoBlue - everyone knows that's you tagging signs. Neat block letters. Punctuation. You need to cover your tracks better.

:stir
 
Yeah, that stop, drop, and roll thing and catching on fire and was like the quicksand scenes from the old Tarzan movies. I always thought quicksand was going to be a bigger problem than it turned out to be. As a kid, we were always on the lookout.

"Dad!!!, Timmy fell into quicksand over in the Johnson's yard and can't get out. Quick, he's sinking!"


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I was always worried about the Hide-a-Behind. Grandpa had me checking behind every damn door for that creeper... never could seem to get to the light switch fast enough in a dark room...

... quicksand, the Blob, the Thing, the Nightstalker, vampires... man childhood was scary in the 70's...
 
Dave said:
I was always worried about the Hide-a-Behind. Grandpa had me checking behind every damn door for that creeper... never could seem to get to the light switch fast enough in a dark room...

... quicksand, the Blob, the Thing, the Nightstalker, vampires... man childhood was scary in the 70's...
Click to expand...

Ran into a guy that said when he was little his dad told him the Tremors creatures were real. He was scared to get off the concrete onto grass for years.
 
TangoBlue said:
I discovered some rare, old footage of @Haggis when he had a Jeep and a pet bear on his way to work at the family saw mill. Interesting note about the bear... it was a cub he raised from early on that could always be found at his side, just like a dog.

As the bear got to adult age he shot him, butchered it, and ate it over the course of the winter. Too old and they get fatty and tough is the reason I was told. But he loved that bear... roasted, fricasseed, broiled, ground into patties or Michelle's famous "meata-ballzas."

Click to expand...

Did anyone notice in the video that once they pulled the pop-tops, they put them back into the can? We all used to do that, but I never noticed any marketing that did that. Today, they would get sued out of existence when (not if) someone swallowed the pop-top.
 
Scott B. said:
Did anyone notice in the video that once they pulled the pop-tops, they put them back into the can? We all used to do that, but I never noticed any marketing that did that. Today, they would get sued out of existence when (not if) someone swallowed the pop-top.
Click to expand...

I did notice that and thought it was some sort of odd yankee thing.. I have never seen that, we always put tabs in our pockets till the beer was done the put them back in the can and crush it.
 
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