The Random Dose of FUNNY Thread

I bought a replacement wheel barrow once in poly. My wife decided to clean out the wood burner one afternoon. The fire had been out for 2 days. She pushed the wheel barrow full of ash outside under the deck. Luckily my neighbor was a smoker. At mid-night, he called me and says" Hey you have a flue fire". I run out on the deck and look up. No fire but a lot of smoke. The wheel barrow was fully engulfed under the deck and fire was licking up a post. There is still a melted plastic stain on the concrete. My new barrow is steel.
When I lived in a rural part of NE Georgia many homes had wood burning stoves. A fireman friend said that many of their calls were to locations where someone had cleaned out the ash from the stove placing the contents in a coal bucket or ashcan only to place it on a front porch. Best case scenario this would scorch the wood under the bucket, worse case scenario it would start a full fire. It's amazing how long those ashes stay hot.
 

Greg

Adventurist
Senior Staff
Not mine but a friend's. More of a tragic comedy really.

"This is a typical conversation that I seem to have on specific sites. We will call this site "Widget Fans".​
Me: I wish that shipping wasn't so expensive from Widget Central. I want to try out those blue widgets.​
Fellow Fan 1: Super Duper Mart sells them and they have free shipping!​
Me: Would you mind showing me the link.​
Fellow Fan 1: (shows a link to their site but they only sell red widgets)​
Me: That's great but they only sell red widgets. I am looking for blue ones.​
Fellow Fan 2: If you weren't so lazy you'd see that Highe's Home Improvement sells them!​
Me: Got a link?​
Fellow Fan 2: Damn you are lazy! Here you go. (Shows the website of that chain but again shows only red ones for sale)​
Me: That's great but they only sell red widgets. I am looking for blue ones.​
Fellow Fan 3: (Gives similar banter as 1 or 2 along with similar website show only red ones for sale)​
Me: (repeating that I am looking for blue ones)​
Fellow Fan 4: (Gives similar banter as previous fans along with similar website show only red ones for sale)​
Me: (after I have had enough of people not bothering to read what I wrote) Listen, I don't want any red widgets. I can go to one of the local stores and buy the red ones. I am trying to find out if any store carries BLUE ones because I'd rather not spend a fortune on shipping from Widget Central. Do any of you get it now?​
Fellow Fan 5: Hey no need to get an attitude about it. We are just trying to help.​
Me: If you want to help them show me a site that has BLUE widgets for sale.​
Fellow Fan 5: I really shouldn't do this since you can't ask nicely but here you go. (Shows one of the aforementioned sites that only had the red ones for sale)​
Me: Like the others you showed me red ones. Blue ones...i am looking for blue ones.​
Fellow Fan 5: Well these are kind of like the blue ones.​
Me: Forget it! I will order from Widget Central directly and suck up the cost of shipping for the blue ones.​
Fellow Fan 6: Super Duper Mart sells them and they have free shipping!"​
 
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