The Random Dose of FUNNY Thread
- Thread starter Dave
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Gallowbraid
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Optimistic Paranoid
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My Pandemic Shelter-In-Place Journal
Day 1: Why didn't anyone warn us that this year that we were switching directly from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone?
Day 2: My maid has decided to work from home. She called and talked me through vacuuming and making the beds. Tomorrow, she's scheduled to talk me through doing the laundry. Best of all, she's cut her rates by 10%!
Day 3: Homeschooling: One of my kids just said, "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year!" Damn, I'm offended!
Day 4: I sure hope the weather is good tomorrow. I get to go out and take out the garbage. I wonder what I should wear?
Day 5: While I was outside today taking out the garbage, I heard my neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious the loony woman actually thought her cat understood her! I went back in the house and told my dog. Boy, did we both have a good laugh!
Day 6: Apparently, my body has been absorbing a LOT of soap and disinfectant lately. I just discovered that when I pee, it cleans the toilet!
Day 7: Homeschooling: One of the little bastards called in a bomb threat!
Day 8: I'm trying to decide where to go for Easter this year. The Living Room or the Bedroom? Decisions, decisions . . .
Day 1: Why didn't anyone warn us that this year that we were switching directly from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone?
Day 2: My maid has decided to work from home. She called and talked me through vacuuming and making the beds. Tomorrow, she's scheduled to talk me through doing the laundry. Best of all, she's cut her rates by 10%!
Day 3: Homeschooling: One of my kids just said, "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year!" Damn, I'm offended!
Day 4: I sure hope the weather is good tomorrow. I get to go out and take out the garbage. I wonder what I should wear?
Day 5: While I was outside today taking out the garbage, I heard my neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious the loony woman actually thought her cat understood her! I went back in the house and told my dog. Boy, did we both have a good laugh!
Day 6: Apparently, my body has been absorbing a LOT of soap and disinfectant lately. I just discovered that when I pee, it cleans the toilet!
Day 7: Homeschooling: One of the little bastards called in a bomb threat!
Day 8: I'm trying to decide where to go for Easter this year. The Living Room or the Bedroom? Decisions, decisions . . .
4x4x4doors
Adventurist
Optimistic Paranoid
Adventurist
12 Hilarious Text Messages From Your Dog
https://www.cesarsway.com/12-hilarious-text-messages-youd-get-if-dogs-could-text/
https://www.cesarsway.com/12-hilarious-text-messages-youd-get-if-dogs-could-text/
Optimistic Paranoid
Adventurist
Now that we FINALLY have everyone washing their hands correctly . . . next week, turn signals!
verdesard0g
Adventurist
Turn signals....I wish!!!!!!
Optimistic Paranoid
Adventurist
My mom always told me I'd never accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. But look at me now - I'm saving the world!
Optimistic Paranoid
Adventurist
Steve & Deb
Adventurist
Day 18: I filled the dog with helium.
Optimistic Paranoid
Adventurist
I'm either going to come out of this quarantine 20 lbs lighter and all caught up with my to-do list . . . or 20 lbs heavier and with a drinking problem!
4x4x4doors
Adventurist
Gallowbraid
Adventurist
Gallowbraid
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