Here are some 'insights' for potential visitors to Isle Royale:
!) Not all visitors are eaten by wolves. Many are stomped to death by rabid moose or simply disappear.
2) Icebergs do not sink many boats during the summer. Michipishu claims most of them.
3) It does not snow all summer. There are often days when it rains.
4) Windigo is
A. An Anishinaabe legend sometimes compared to the European werewolf.
B. A form of psychosis where the patient takes great satisfaction from homicide, mayhem and cannibalism (usually with family and friends).
C. The name of the westernmost outpost on the island. Just sayin'.
5) Most mosquitoes and blackflies die out by the end of July, due to gluttony.
6) Cell phones don't work, so anyone travelling with someone under 50 should reread 4) B.
7) Cloud cover is usually so thick that satellite signals won't penetrate them.
8) Some nights, the clouds disappear and you can see the northern lights. The air is so clear because all the moisture in the air has frozen and fallen from the sky. You only have minutes to find your sleeping bags or your extremities will freeze off. This will be difficult because the cold has drained the batteries in your headlights.
9) Sat phones and GPS are great if they only could penetrate the cloud cover or the Northern Lights and if the cold hadn't already drained the batteries.
10) Your adventure begins with getting to the island. Each ship comes “with a crew and good captain well seasoned”. Never you mind about what happened to the first 3 ships with that name.
11) Motion sickness happens. Just step out to the railing and of course, spit first. That will tell you where the next giant wave is coming from. Don't worry! Your ship could be as much as 165 ft. in length. (The Edmund Fitzgerald was 728 ft. Just sayin'.)
12) You can avoid water travel by taking a seaplane over. These are very experienced bush pilots, who for generations, have been learning to fly while they were still in grade school. It's summer break so you probably will be lucky enough to help train the next generation. Don't worry! Even with practicing rolls, loops, skimming the waves and, of course, stalls, you will be there in just a fraction of the time the ship would take. You won't believe how little time it took! Really. You won't believe it.
13) Keep in mind that many of the dangers you find in other parks don't exist here. No gators here. Sure, the beavers are carnivorous, but none have exceeded 200 lbs. yet. Besides the beavers are the reason there are no bears, anymore.
14) No altitude sickness! Sure people fall from the cliffs, due to icing, but ice cover seldom exists past July. Besides, this isn't Half Dome. There are plenty of trees and outcrops to break your fall. Not so bad.
15) Lastly, keep in mind that the island is a billion year old lava flow. It may erupt at any time.
I hope this has sufficiently warned you. If it has not; then keep in mind that Michigan, Minnesota, Ontario and Wisconsin are all ugly, ugly, ugly and DANGEROUS! The only reason you see all those parks, forests and lakeshores on the map is because it is so DANGEROUS and it was cheaper to make all those parks, forests and lakeshores than wrap the whole mess in caution tape.
