Frankie the Adventure Dawg's Reports
- Thread starter Garrett
- Start date
Frankie...dude...if you're so hungry that you resorted to eating "litter box crunchies", I'd give PETA a call. You are obviously an abused dog, deserving of a much better human than that bum Garrett. He's obviously making himself look like he includes you in his normal activities with all of the staged pictures he posts on the interweb.
My best advice to you Frankie, is to stay up late one night, catch the number for one of the midnight lawyers, they are the BEST! File a suit against Garrett for ...ummm...well, that's what the lawyer is for, figuring out what your human has done wrong (that's why the lawyers get the big $$$, thinking of something that Garrett did wrong).
When you win your suit (may take a few years with appeals and all), you'll get half of Garrett's stuff! Wait, I've seen Garrett's stuff (pictures, lots of pictures), looks like you already have ALL of his stuff!
I think I'd just go with what you've got for now Frankie. I'd lay off of the litter box crunchies, chicks DON't dig that at all!
My best advice to you Frankie, is to stay up late one night, catch the number for one of the midnight lawyers, they are the BEST! File a suit against Garrett for ...ummm...well, that's what the lawyer is for, figuring out what your human has done wrong (that's why the lawyers get the big $$$, thinking of something that Garrett did wrong).
When you win your suit (may take a few years with appeals and all), you'll get half of Garrett's stuff! Wait, I've seen Garrett's stuff (pictures, lots of pictures), looks like you already have ALL of his stuff!
I think I'd just go with what you've got for now Frankie. I'd lay off of the litter box crunchies, chicks DON't dig that at all!
LOL. Nice one Frankie. And you write better than Garrett does, even without hands. Just sayin...
Garrett
Adventurist
Human took me to Moh-na-chee Meadows this last weekend. What a fun place! I swam, ran, played, climbed, chased, went too far away, ran some more and ate SO MUCH FREAKING COW POOP! That stuff is amazing! I also tore up human's sleeping pad so he had to sleep on the ground Saturday night...what a dummy - even I had a bed! Humans are weird. I guess I did a good thing because he even ordered me an In N Out burger on Sunday night going home. Now...where the cows at?
Garrett
Adventurist
What a Ruff life. I got to go north to Healdsburg where the human took me wine tasting (even though he knows I don't like wine) and to a local brewery. Then, his friend had a party where I ate enough meatballs to kill a rhino. Seriously, people kept giving me meatballs. So many dang meatballs. If I had the ability to sweat, I might have had the meat sweats. Did I say that the meatballs were really good? Human said I ate enough people food that I didn't even get dog food that night.
Speaking of food, does anyone have some meatballs?
Speaking of food, does anyone have some meatballs?
Garrett
Adventurist
Gosh - it feels like I was just being escorted to the beach when I was whisked away to Camp Tahquitz near Big Bear, CA for the annual Mountain Rendezvous to camp with the overland misfits! Bacon We drove up there for FIVE freaking hours. Garrett had the audacity to feed me at a gas station, but it's OK - I like to live adventurously. Bacon
We arrived after dark at the campground and I supervised MY tent being set up. Saturday morning, I hung out with Chase and guess what he gave me? BACON! It was amazing. Pretty much half a pound.
(if you've never seen me beg you for food, trust me, you'll give to me through sheer intimidation.)
Garrett disappeared for a little bit and came back smelling like pancakes and bacon. I'm still very suspicious of these Mojoe people they were talking about while smelling like bacon. After all this, though, he made up for it by taking me for a car ride. At first I thought I'd drive.
When I didn't get that, I made sure to sit in the front seat. No matter that the other human was there...I'm in charge here. Don't make me get sassy.
I wasn't allowed to drive. But I did get to see some cool stuff!
When we got back, the beer was opened. I roamed, sniffed, ran, jumped, and got taken over to the Dutch Oven Competition for dinner. I got to smell so many dog butts!
It's also called Dogbook, but hey, you humans wouldn't understand. So they ate, I ate, and Garrett said his vote was for the Mojoe crew's cabbage with BACON.
There were shenanigans, misfit-ish activities (hey, Chase runs a carnival and sticks things places...I wouldn't even do that with my own...well, you get it.) If you didn't see these activities it's because they didn't happen, were not authorized, , were performed under the influence of peer pressure
D) and were fully supervised by me...when I was around. I got put to bed around 9:30, but that's too early. When Garrett was going to bed, people asked if I was going with him. He said I was in the tent - what an idiot - I had torn a gigantic hole in the tent so that I could wander the ENTIRE campground unattended going through people's trash bags (Sorry Chase, wasn't a bear). In the morning, I was cuddly.
We packed it in and since I'm awesome, I got an In N Out burger on the way home. Now get back to work. eruff said.
We arrived after dark at the campground and I supervised MY tent being set up. Saturday morning, I hung out with Chase and guess what he gave me? BACON! It was amazing. Pretty much half a pound.
(if you've never seen me beg you for food, trust me, you'll give to me through sheer intimidation.)Garrett disappeared for a little bit and came back smelling like pancakes and bacon. I'm still very suspicious of these Mojoe people they were talking about while smelling like bacon. After all this, though, he made up for it by taking me for a car ride. At first I thought I'd drive.
When I didn't get that, I made sure to sit in the front seat. No matter that the other human was there...I'm in charge here. Don't make me get sassy.
I wasn't allowed to drive. But I did get to see some cool stuff!
When we got back, the beer was opened. I roamed, sniffed, ran, jumped, and got taken over to the Dutch Oven Competition for dinner. I got to smell so many dog butts!
It's also called Dogbook, but hey, you humans wouldn't understand. So they ate, I ate, and Garrett said his vote was for the Mojoe crew's cabbage with BACON.There were shenanigans, misfit-ish activities (hey, Chase runs a carnival and sticks things places...I wouldn't even do that with my own...well, you get it.) If you didn't see these activities it's because they didn't happen, were not authorized, , were performed under the influence of peer pressure
D) and were fully supervised by me...when I was around. I got put to bed around 9:30, but that's too early. When Garrett was going to bed, people asked if I was going with him. He said I was in the tent - what an idiot - I had torn a gigantic hole in the tent so that I could wander the ENTIRE campground unattended going through people's trash bags (Sorry Chase, wasn't a bear). In the morning, I was cuddly.We packed it in and since I'm awesome, I got an In N Out burger on the way home. Now get back to work. eruff said.
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Garrett, you may have a problem...the dog in this bit looks just like some of Frankie's relatives...I'd recommend not letting Frankie the Wonder Dog see it.
https://screen.yahoo.com/awesome-animals/dog-unlocks-window-sneaks-house-191002609.html
https://screen.yahoo.com/awesome-animals/dog-unlocks-window-sneaks-house-191002609.html
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Garrett
Adventurist
I really enjoy my road trips! Especially when I can bring a friend! This is Blue - he's a cattle dog!
We're coming up on the last days of summer. I know it, human knows it, so I demand summer activities before dark! Here's me being trendy in the Santa Barbara harbor. I'm awesome. I also enjoy standing up and freaking out so that human falls in the water...even though I fall in as well. It's way better than a bath.
We're coming up on the last days of summer. I know it, human knows it, so I demand summer activities before dark! Here's me being trendy in the Santa Barbara harbor. I'm awesome. I also enjoy standing up and freaking out so that human falls in the water...even though I fall in as well. It's way better than a bath.
Garrett
Adventurist
This last weekend I went on the Mojave Road for my second time. It's amazing out there! So many cow patties to eat and roll in!
Human's friend decided last minute that he didn't want to ride all the way out to the start of the Road, so we packed it all in tight! Look at that 'bro lean'!
We arrived at 12:30am (which apparently was right on the ETA) even after the first hiccup. Garrett thought they should stop for fuel. Alex said he could make it to the Avi Casino. We apparently ran out of fuel half a block from the gas station and as we rolled in, the humans all jumped out and began pushing the truck up to the pumps. Not to worry, they had extra fuel in the truckbed, but out of principle, they were only 100ft from the pumps.
. On the way out, I decided it was a good time to "express myself". This means I 'expressed my anal glands' which apparently smell AWFUL to the humans....like fish or a harbor. Delicious to us dogs, but gross to humans. I did it THREE times on the way out! (The truck doesn't smell of me any more...it STINKS of me! 
)
So the Road began. They let me sniff around at the ghost town/movie prop area. Then we packed in and headed towards Fort Piute. We skipped the fort since we've seen it so many times and pressed on. We did the pass uneventfully and later stopped at the school bus for lunch. It was still upright. Right before we were going to leave, I rolled in poop. So Garrett got to use up the water in the shower in giving me a bath in the desert. It was like a spa....that I didn't like.
BEEP BEEP!
View attachment 10421 I'll still try!
We arrived at a camp near Hole in the Wall and there was a light show as we played music and bonfired. Garrett made a famous Santa Maria style chipotle tri-tip on the Magma grill (even though the regulator broke in transport so he McGuyver'd a fix) with baked beans and Hawaiian rolls...nothing was left. Not even a dirty plate
Light Show
Here's the fun part. Unbeknownst to Garrett, during the time that his brother drove his truck for 15 minutes to camp, there was another dog in the truck. Brinkley is his twin brother's dog and my friend. Well, while they were cruising and bouncing around, Brinkley accidentally popped the truck into reverse. We'll get to the effects tomorrow since nobody informed Garrett until back on the Road the next day. Also, it was at camp that it was noticed that the truck had lost air in the front right tire. It had a pinhole leak in the sidewall from a cactus. Out came the repair kit and a quick plug got it good to go.
The next day was fun! We crossed the highway which would take you to Kelso Depot, but we skipped that in anticipation of finishing the Road that day. Kelso is cool, but also a 2-hr detour. Besides, I'm not allowed inside so I'm okay with it. At the first stop along the Road was just before Marl Springs, which is where everyone commemorates Garrett's worst stunt ever performed. We pulled to a stop and she went over to Garrett to tell him that the truck was making lots of noise. He wasn't concerned, saying it already makes lots of noises like squeaks and groans. She told him it's not that...it's worse. So he goes over to the truck, get underneath and in 5 seconds says, "That's it, this truck is done for now." The carrier bearing had a failure.
The debate continued on whether to continue slow speed on the road or find the nearest telephone road and head for highway. It was determined that it was safer to keep low speed and get to the highway just past the lava tubes than to get on the highway.
View attachment 10424
We made it to the mail box and the fun garden behind the box. I'm not sure why someone put beer in the box...that's gonna be nasty. We ate lunch at the mailbox and then continued on to the lava tubes. This time, I wasn't a pansy and went down the nearly vertical stairs all by myself. I'm a big boy now.
Well, after that, we loaded the bikes and said our goodbyes as it was time for the broken truck to attempt the drive home. You could hear the driveshaft bouncing around on the washboard road, but as soon as we hit pavement, all noise stopped. Garrett went back under the truck and pushed the rubber grommets back into place which held the shaft in the carrier support. With no large bumps on pavement, this should hold. We stopped every once in a while to see if the driveshaft touched the carrier support (god forbid it ground through the metal and dropped on the highway)! We made it home around 10:15pm and I was exhausted. That's why it's taken me until Wednesday to write this.
Next adventure: Moving from Santa Barbara to Vandenburg Village! Garrett bought ME an entire house to destroy!
Human's friend decided last minute that he didn't want to ride all the way out to the start of the Road, so we packed it all in tight! Look at that 'bro lean'!
We arrived at 12:30am (which apparently was right on the ETA) even after the first hiccup. Garrett thought they should stop for fuel. Alex said he could make it to the Avi Casino. We apparently ran out of fuel half a block from the gas station and as we rolled in, the humans all jumped out and began pushing the truck up to the pumps. Not to worry, they had extra fuel in the truckbed, but out of principle, they were only 100ft from the pumps.
. On the way out, I decided it was a good time to "express myself". This means I 'expressed my anal glands' which apparently smell AWFUL to the humans....like fish or a harbor. Delicious to us dogs, but gross to humans. I did it THREE times on the way out! (The truck doesn't smell of me any more...it STINKS of me! )So the Road began. They let me sniff around at the ghost town/movie prop area. Then we packed in and headed towards Fort Piute. We skipped the fort since we've seen it so many times and pressed on. We did the pass uneventfully and later stopped at the school bus for lunch. It was still upright. Right before we were going to leave, I rolled in poop. So Garrett got to use up the water in the shower in giving me a bath in the desert. It was like a spa....that I didn't like.
View attachment 10421 I'll still try!
We arrived at a camp near Hole in the Wall and there was a light show as we played music and bonfired. Garrett made a famous Santa Maria style chipotle tri-tip on the Magma grill (even though the regulator broke in transport so he McGuyver'd a fix) with baked beans and Hawaiian rolls...nothing was left. Not even a dirty plate
Here's the fun part. Unbeknownst to Garrett, during the time that his brother drove his truck for 15 minutes to camp, there was another dog in the truck. Brinkley is his twin brother's dog and my friend. Well, while they were cruising and bouncing around, Brinkley accidentally popped the truck into reverse.
We'll get to the effects tomorrow since nobody informed Garrett until back on the Road the next day. Also, it was at camp that it was noticed that the truck had lost air in the front right tire. It had a pinhole leak in the sidewall from a cactus. Out came the repair kit and a quick plug got it good to go.The next day was fun! We crossed the highway which would take you to Kelso Depot, but we skipped that in anticipation of finishing the Road that day. Kelso is cool, but also a 2-hr detour. Besides, I'm not allowed inside so I'm okay with it. At the first stop along the Road was just before Marl Springs, which is where everyone commemorates Garrett's worst stunt ever performed. We pulled to a stop and she went over to Garrett to tell him that the truck was making lots of noise. He wasn't concerned, saying it already makes lots of noises like squeaks and groans. She told him it's not that...it's worse. So he goes over to the truck, get underneath and in 5 seconds says, "That's it, this truck is done for now." The carrier bearing had a failure.
The debate continued on whether to continue slow speed on the road or find the nearest telephone road and head for highway. It was determined that it was safer to keep low speed and get to the highway just past the lava tubes than to get on the highway.
View attachment 10424
We made it to the mail box and the fun garden behind the box. I'm not sure why someone put beer in the box...that's gonna be nasty. We ate lunch at the mailbox and then continued on to the lava tubes. This time, I wasn't a pansy and went down the nearly vertical stairs all by myself. I'm a big boy now.
Well, after that, we loaded the bikes and said our goodbyes as it was time for the broken truck to attempt the drive home. You could hear the driveshaft bouncing around on the washboard road, but as soon as we hit pavement, all noise stopped. Garrett went back under the truck and pushed the rubber grommets back into place which held the shaft in the carrier support. With no large bumps on pavement, this should hold. We stopped every once in a while to see if the driveshaft touched the carrier support (god forbid it ground through the metal and dropped on the highway)! We made it home around 10:15pm and I was exhausted. That's why it's taken me until Wednesday to write this.
Next adventure: Moving from Santa Barbara to Vandenburg Village! Garrett bought ME an entire house to destroy!
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Malamute
Adventurist
Hey Frankie, if you haven't already, send some pics and an update to the old rescue you were imprisoned in, they like hearing of success stories. I send updates to the rescue I got my dogs from, they love seeing pics and hearing what the dogs are doing. They've told me they wish I could adopt all their dogs.
Looks like you've got things going your way. Before long you'll have your new person fully trained.
Haley the Wonderdog out adventuring,
Looks like you've got things going your way. Before long you'll have your new person fully trained.
Haley the Wonderdog out adventuring,
Garrett
Adventurist
So here I am, on the couch while human is at work (slaving away so he can afford to feed me hot dogs)
I realized I haven't updated you about what's up. So what have we been up to? How about THIS:
A week later, it was my 4th birthday! Human's female got ME a bounce house...although the humans kept bouncing in it. Annoying.
On the same note, it was human's birthday. There was a party and SOMEONE let him fly a plane. I'm surprised Vandenberg Air Force Base didn't shoot them down.
Hopefully, to make up for it, Human let me navigate. It didn't go so well. I didn't get the squirrel.
I realized I haven't updated you about what's up. So what have we been up to? How about THIS:
A week later, it was my 4th birthday! Human's female got ME a bounce house...although the humans kept bouncing in it. Annoying.
On the same note, it was human's birthday. There was a party and SOMEONE let him fly a plane. I'm surprised Vandenberg Air Force Base didn't shoot them down.
Hopefully, to make up for it, Human let me navigate. It didn't go so well. I didn't get the squirrel.
Garrett
Adventurist
Wow, what a fun weekend! I got to go to some hot springs! It was definitely an adventure.
Here is my pal, Brinkley, chasing human's twin on a KTM. Maybe they should do more exercise because he slept FOREVER after that.
Human didn't take me, but they went motorcycle riding on Divide Peak. Since he didn't take me, I think he deserves what came next...
After staying up until 3am, the trail ride was a fun one. That is, until Barlow and Garrett went to the "dirt track" after being exhausted from riding, and Garrett got stuck. Not really stuck, I guess, but sick. It seems heat exhaustion got the best of him, and after attempting a hill climb more times than he needed to, he got sick next to the bike three times before giving up. He actually ended up walking back to the main trail a few miles in dirtbike boots. He got picked up about a quarter mile from trailhead. He hitched a ride...what a "cat" (insert other word for cat). Maybe HE should go back to the gym more too, eh?
Obviously, after something like that, a soak in the tubs was warranted and well deserved. I didn't hop into the hot water, but I ran around and sniffed everything while digging holes and looking for gophers.
Before getting to Tyler's Jeep, here's my ride...yea, I like sticking my head out of this.
On Sunday, the group decided to drive Garrett up to the trailhead so he could hike back into Divide Peak's "dirt track" and go get his moto. About a mile out of camp, Tyler's Jeep stalls and won't start. Long story short, the fuel pump died and when it did, it also blew the fuse for it. It was also having a fuel regulator issue. So again, Garrett hitched a ride on the back of Tim's moto back to camp to get his truck. They drove up to the trailhead and Garrett hiked to his bike. After a quick rest, he was able to start it on the first try and exit the obstacle on the first try which shows just how impeded he was at that time. On the way down, he encountered a stranded pickup truck which had lost all its oil. After talking to the owner, Garrett rode back to camp and then drove out with Tyler to give the poor guy 3.5 quarts of oil (including 1 quart of moto oil). He was super thankful and went on his way. They then strapped Tyler's Jeep back to camp.
Come Monday, it's time to leave and it's just Eric, Tyler, Garrett, Nora, Brinkley and me. They pack Tyler's Jeep to the brim and Nora rides with Eric who begins the trek to pull Tyler all the way to the top of the hill - except he can't. The rocky road proved too slippery for an open differential so Garrett had to strap him up and use the locker with aired down tires to be able to haul him to the top. The motorcycle also fell off the back of the truck at one point...Jeeze - I've got stories for days if you've got hot dogs!
All is well that ends well with tired Adventurists! You might even say: DOG tired...
Here is my pal, Brinkley, chasing human's twin on a KTM. Maybe they should do more exercise because he slept FOREVER after that.
Human didn't take me, but they went motorcycle riding on Divide Peak. Since he didn't take me, I think he deserves what came next...
After staying up until 3am, the trail ride was a fun one. That is, until Barlow and Garrett went to the "dirt track" after being exhausted from riding, and Garrett got stuck. Not really stuck, I guess, but sick. It seems heat exhaustion got the best of him, and after attempting a hill climb more times than he needed to, he got sick next to the bike three times before giving up. He actually ended up walking back to the main trail a few miles in dirtbike boots. He got picked up about a quarter mile from trailhead. He hitched a ride...what a "cat" (insert other word for cat). Maybe HE should go back to the gym more too, eh?
Obviously, after something like that, a soak in the tubs was warranted and well deserved. I didn't hop into the hot water, but I ran around and sniffed everything while digging holes and looking for gophers.
Before getting to Tyler's Jeep, here's my ride...yea, I like sticking my head out of this.
On Sunday, the group decided to drive Garrett up to the trailhead so he could hike back into Divide Peak's "dirt track" and go get his moto. About a mile out of camp, Tyler's Jeep stalls and won't start. Long story short, the fuel pump died and when it did, it also blew the fuse for it. It was also having a fuel regulator issue. So again, Garrett hitched a ride on the back of Tim's moto back to camp to get his truck. They drove up to the trailhead and Garrett hiked to his bike. After a quick rest, he was able to start it on the first try and exit the obstacle on the first try which shows just how impeded he was at that time. On the way down, he encountered a stranded pickup truck which had lost all its oil. After talking to the owner, Garrett rode back to camp and then drove out with Tyler to give the poor guy 3.5 quarts of oil (including 1 quart of moto oil). He was super thankful and went on his way. They then strapped Tyler's Jeep back to camp.
Come Monday, it's time to leave and it's just Eric, Tyler, Garrett, Nora, Brinkley and me. They pack Tyler's Jeep to the brim and Nora rides with Eric who begins the trek to pull Tyler all the way to the top of the hill - except he can't. The rocky road proved too slippery for an open differential so Garrett had to strap him up and use the locker with aired down tires to be able to haul him to the top. The motorcycle also fell off the back of the truck at one point...Jeeze - I've got stories for days if you've got hot dogs!
All is well that ends well with tired Adventurists! You might even say: DOG tired...
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