AAV Mystery Theater...Summer Edition

Haggis

Adventurist
Senior Staff
Founding Member
Welcome to the Summer season of AAV Mystery Theater where you get to be part of the show and help solve the mysteries presented to you. This season opens up with a classic tale of espionage, betrayal, low cunning and dementia. May I present for your consideration “The Tale of the Anonymous Annoy-a-Tron”…

The Setting…

Early spring unfolds over a crowded meadow in the far off land of Arizona. Wanderers, travelers, and khaki-clad debutants gather to show off their adventure vehicles and equipment to each other as hawkers and merchants ply their wares to entrance the gathered throng and to gain the coins in these traveler’s wallets. A group of likeminded adventurers gather in a clearing setting themselves apart to renew old ties and to promote a new endeavor that they are all invested in. A camp is set, rigs and gear presented and this little gathering amongst the many settle back for a fun weekend…but devious treachery is brewing in the dark mind of one of this merry crew.

The Crime…

During the weekend, a dark figure slinks and hides in the shadows when the others are out enjoying the gathering. This figure pokes and prods over just a few of the adventurer’s rigs seeking the perfect place to preform his/her’s sabotage. A device is secreted upon two of the vehicles and an insidious one it is. It is small electronic device that serves no purpose but to drive the victim to a state of dementia with a random beep, much like the Tell-tale Heart of Poe’s classic tail. Its insidious name…the Annoy-a-Tron. Dastardly deed done the figure melts into the crowd, an evil chuckle accompanying the villain’s departure. After the gathering the adventurers disperse and depart, and the dreaded beeping starts. Not enough to track down, but enough to scrape the edge of sanity and to befuddle the strands of logic.

The Victims…

Two must pay for the criminal’s misdeeds…The first a mild mannered driver of a 4Runner, a man named Mitch. Here’s a man that spends his days up fitting the vehicles that heroes use to keep the populace safe. What could he have done to draw the ire of the fiend? Does our villain bear a grudge against all that stand for good?

The Second victim is a retired serviceman, a man that has given of himself for the service of his country and its citizens. He is called Tango and though getting up there in years he is an adventurer of some renown. He’d be even more renowned if he actually posted up his trips, but enough has been randomly seen scattered over numerous posts to know that no Overland Rally will be left un-explored by this man. Yet he is a target despite his place as the elder statesman. Does the fiend care not for the elderly?

Mitch finds the foul device after traversing over 500 mile but the clues are sparse. Tango still suffers from this heinous act and falls back on federal connections to track down the culprit.

The Suspects…

Mitch…is he really a victim, or is he deflecting blame by playing one. Here is a man that has intimate knowledge of electronics and their use in vehicles. And he drives a 4Runner in a group of pick-ups, is that the reason or is he just a hapless victim…really?

Dave…a man who has made it his mission to help those that need aid. Could he really lower himself to inflict such trauma on poor Mitch and the elderly? Yet he is a known pot stirrer and instigator of shenanigans. Innocent bystander or foul villain?

Barlowrs…He is the shadow of the group…quiet, mysterious, and reserved. Could he be a raging cauldron of repressed monkey shines and struck out against the more brazen of this gathering. Or is he just a red herring?

Tango…Firm in conviction and quick with the sarcastic remark. Could it be only a case of early onset dementia and that there was never a device placed on his truck at all? The FBI will know for sure.

Lyrpa...Mitch’s better half and a possible co-conspirator. After all she spells her name backwards, who knows what heinous acts she could be capable off.

The Clues…

Scattered in threads here on AAV you’ll find the banter back and forth between the suspects…can you solve the "Case of the Anonymous Annoy-a-Tron" before Tango’s FBI contacts do. Post your best theory here…
 
It was Mitch! And even worse he doesn't realize it was him that put it on his own rig! He thinks he has competition, a true sign of dementia...or exhaust fumes.
 
It was Mitch!

spy.jpg
 
It could have been me, I may have perpetrated this act upon my passenger for those 500 miles but ended up driving myself insane in the process.

She didn't seem nearly as bothered by the prank as I was though.
 
Elderly. ELDERLY!? I got your flippin' elderly...

Anyway... a fine tale laid out by our very own bard Haggis. Quite the alluring story he sets; one of intrigue, mystery, and skulduggery, and far different than his usual stories describing his travels and adventure in the Pennsylvania mountains, splashing in the pretty water with his life preserver around his neck and his safety helmet "so he don't fall and huwt his wittow head on the swippewy wocks," and stuffing his chops with pie, albeit delicious pie. Few will match his engaging and imaginative writing skills. Fewer still have the resolve and turpitude to continue writing despite Haggis's own tragic struggle with Chronic Agraphia. They needed to know, Mark, I'm sorry I had to let them in on your "secret." Perhaps one day his talent will evolve beyond his endless quest for the "any key" on his key board, and his epiphany will include clicking the box entitled, "enable spell-check." Alas, one can only hope...

To provide an update for you viewers and nefarious fiend(s)...

They didn't have space today but they will tomorrow; I take it by the FBI Academy later in the morning. I should be able to witness the event, however pictures are strictly forbidden: but I'll do my best to see if I can get at least one pic of the discovery or the device. Haggis will attest that's a pretty good trip report right there...

I think this is really exciting and worth the constant annoyance of enduring that unpredictable beep from the back of the truck. After the first several days of dismantling every flippin' thing from my tightly-packed and overloaded truck bed (and not just once), returning 2 Kyocera rechargeable lamps because of their incessant beeping while charging in the sun ("funny, none of our customers ever complained of that before"), reading and re-reading the ARB freezer/fridge manual looking for at least one sentence that described an audible tone alert, desperate pleas to friends and passers-by to search my truck ("See-see! Did you hear that -- just now -- it was a beep!" "Help me find it - the beep - can't you hear it?"), and finally acceptance of my inability to locate the source of the vexing scream, or what you could conservatively claim, "beep."

What salvation it was for me to learn that contacts can pay off and a friend volunteered, for the sake of learning to train future agents, the forensic talent and vast resources of the FBI. Then to identify the culprit and perhaps even have a "courtesy call" made to them at their home or place of work for further identification and verification... maybe even a ride in a Crown Vic!

But all is not completely rosey... my only lament is that they aren't placing new guests anymore at Camp X-Ray in Guantanamo. A location where our prankster would be quite comfortable with other terrorists.

Remember this observation left to us by David Mamet you scheming ne'er-do-well, "Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance."
 
It could have been me, I may have perpetrated this act upon my passenger for those 500 miles but ended up driving myself insane in the process.

She didn't seem nearly as bothered by the prank as I was though.

Meh, she's probably used to tuning you out; I know my wife does that... her loss... I have a lot of important stuff to say.
 
And the plot thickens...paranoia, redirected anger, and delusions...all the result of one little device. Now will our tale become more than a community theatrical presentation but instead morph into a tale of vengeance and the slide into full insanity. Oooooh the drama...what twist and turns will our plot take next?

Stay tuned dear readers for the next installment! :drama:popcorn
 
Meh, she's probably used to tuning you out; I know my wife does that... .

Why would your wife feel the need to tune Mitch out? He's got a lot of important stuff to say.

Tim....do you have any scars on your head? Perhaps, the device is not installed in your truck.....but rather it was secreted into that hollow space your old and withered brain used to occupy? You know, while you slept deeply by a campfire of something?
 
This thread is awesome!BEEP! I can't wait to see what happens next! Don't worry about Tango's taunts, Mark, he's BEEP! just cranky because his pet dinosaur just ran away .He probably thinks you need to learn some respect, you whippersnapper!!. :lol

Dr.CDawg







BEEP!
 
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Why would your wife feel the need to tune Mitch out? He's got a lot of important stuff to say.

Have you talked to Mitch? Okay then...

Tim....do you have any scars on your head? Perhaps, the device is not installed in your truck.....but rather it was secreted into that hollow space your old and withered brain used to occupy? You know, while you slept deeply by a campfire of something?

I sport a TRAC II haircut these days so I'll let you be the judge. If anything was inserted in my brain housing group at a campfire surrounded by sparkling conversation around a Georgia campfire or otherwise I doubt I'd notice any beeping between the tinnitus and voices in my head.

This thread is awesome!BEEP! I can't wait to see what happens next! Don't worry about Tango's taunts, Mark, he's BEEP! just cranky because his pet dinosaur just ran away .He probably thinks you need to learn some respect, you whippersnapper!!. :lol

Dr.CDawg BEEP!

Don't worry about Mark; I think Jim needs a hug...
 
BEEP ...and the other shoe drops.

Very interesting day today.

The Academy was able to take the truck in today. Very interesting tour of the forensic facility; the resources available to them are simply amazing and it's clear the "bad guys" have little chance of success with the capabilities and the science behind this laboratory. I wish I could have taken some photos but they are obviously very sensitive about security and the protection of the identity of their staff and agents. My chronicle of the visit will have to do but I was allowed one photo after their review.

After pulling my Tacoma into their shop there was the obligatory period of them examining my truck and complimenting the shear awesomeness of the build and the meticulous attention to detail. Seriously, after an hour it just gets embarrassing and I had to remind them several times that we were there for something else.

About a half-dozen agents clad in head-to-toe TYVEK suits, latex gloves, and shoe protectors descended on the truck examining every inch from top to bottom. Naturally, they reminded my how awesome my truck was during this exercise when one of the techs in the bed of the truck called for the photographer. She took several shots from a variety of angles and then another tech with an electronic instrument scanned the device. Another agent in a TYVEK suit and some hand tools replaced them in the truck bed and while on his back removed the device from the driver side inner bed rail, tucked just on the inside of the rail completely hidden from direct vision. After carefully retrieving it he handed it to another agent who bagged it and initiated the "chain of custody."

annoy.jpg


Several of the instructors examined the device before turning it over to the fingerprint identification section of the lab. After scanning it with what looked like some kind of high-speed black light they were confident there were some good prints to "lift." That's when things got kind of tense.

Another one of the "grey-beards" there directed them to set the device down and stop handling it; he made a call and a few minutes late a couple of guys in EOD polo shirts arrived who examined the device. Afterwards they exchanged a few technical things in hushed tones among them I didn't understand; then they asked where I got this. I told them someone at OX13 put this in my truck as a prank. The younger EOD guy said, "Prank, huh." The other senior guy asked if I knew what this was and I responded, "Annoy-a-tron, they're available on the internet." Then he said something I never heard before, "They're also the same sort of trigger device made popular by Middle Eastern terrorists for IED's. Just solder here (pointing) and here, and you have an accurately timed "BEEP" and BOOM!" Whoa... I had no idea.

Now, here's where the other shoe drops. Whoever planted this I'm sorry, I had no idea it would go this direction. They want to talk to the person who got this device and planted it, so if you're reading this fess up now so they can contact you directly. Otherwise, and they wanted me to make this clear, the FBI will identify the culprit the hard way and you can expect a visit by a couple of agents on their schedule with a few questions at a location you might not appreciate. I insisted this was completely innocent, but as they reminded me, the Government takes this sort of "shenanigans" very seriously these days. I don't recommend waiting this out too long to see if it "blows over." Wait too long and you will find yourself "BEEPED."

So Mark, this takes us into the next chapter of AAV Mystery Theater...

[cue Mark's next segment remarks]
 
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